Pessimism and negativity are known well in my life. Reading the posts here can prove that to you the reader. I needed to go to certain difficult places and be "negative" for my own well-being and healing, but I can see that there must be a time to pass into a place of healing, of acknowledgment of the good, the victories, the corners of my life that hold those wonderful, helpful and life-giving times and people and things that rightfully deserve notice. Full notice and gratitude given because I want to give the attention, because I am ready.
These two places, negativity and pessimism, have been faithful in standing their ground wherever there was light and hope peeking through my dark times like sun rays gleaming through the cracks of clouds threatening to burst the cloud altogether. I have let these two areas, needful at times, simply dominate too much of my life. So, there, I am done acknowledging that fact. I refuse to live in guilt or beat myself up into oblivion like I have so much in the past.
I see it now. So there.
So. I want to live a half full instead of half empty kind of life. And may I say I do believe there is a huge difference between suffering, hurt and pain and pessimism and negativity. A huge difference. We should not suppress our healing and the forms it takes and the road it travels down. Feeling our pain, our suffering fully and properly can bring us to a better place in life. A life of dealing with our hearts and healing instead of ignoring the pain will bring us to a place where we can thrive and brushing the pain off or setting it aside all while it festers under false smiles and faint hearts will inhibit us in moving forward with others and ourselves.
But I do desire to enjoy this life more, to see what is good and noticing it regularly. I am not doing that right now. But I will in this moment decide to live a half full kind of life. It's a finger snap change initially isn't it. It gets much harder after the first minute, doesn't it? But truly, I realize that my four year old who is screaming, thank God, is still breathing. I realize that the rain which ruined our plans for the day have watered and provided so much beauty to the earth. I realize that while I lack certain physical things I need right now, there is so much that has already been given to us in abundance, over abundance.
The glass is most definitely half full. It was half full all along and I just didn't notice it. Or at least I didn't notice it enough. But when you are thirsty you notice a half full glass of water so much more. If the waitress poured your glass half full of water or tea or whatever, you'd look at her funny, you'd ask her to please fill it up. But had you been on a long journey in the desert and walked in and sat at the same table and the waitress filled your cup half full, you would drink fast and furious and feel so satisfied and delighted by the relief, by what was provided. And in that sheer gratitude, the waitress pours more and more until you are fully satisfied of thirst.
God does that, I think. Staying focused on that half full glass with gratitude yields more in Him. He notices that and blesses your gratefulness. He blesses your mind set. Here's to you and a half full kind of life.